Discuss...

Discuss... are these simply some rather dull rules of life that us chaps have to suffer with?

1. Women REALLY make all the decisions and blokes just say ‘yes’ and go along with it.
2. Your partner may well let you think that you are getting your way the whole time, because otherwise it could well hurt your really fragile male ego.
3. The idea that you are in charge of everything is purely an illusion which sticks around only because the rules of the world appear to request it.
4. That elusive "green for go, jump me now becuase I'm well up for sex with you" signal just won’t come out if all you do is hang around waiting for it.
5. You, the poor, long suffering male, has to do all the hard work when trying to seduce your partner into bed, but then it's actually your partner who will do all of the agreeing to submit to you at every step; from that very first sparkle in her eye to her ultimately surrendering to you sexually. Think back to when you first met your partner, was it her choice to make the decisions at every stage?…

• She will have sent you the initial “it’s ok to approach me” signal that meant that she was willing to hear you out for a moment or two.
• Then she decided whether or not she was going to grace you with her phone number.
• Then she may have agreed to a first date with you.
• Then if you were lucky she also agreed to date you a second time.
• Then she may have beckoned you in for your first kiss together.
• And then several days or maybe even weeks, later she will have allowed further escalation to some passionate kissing and touching.
• And then finally she gave the permission for some sex, she let you take her clothes off and you got an ok to enter her.

So then... discuss - what’s the answer to this? Is it:
(a) Easy; tell yourself that “hey, that’s life as a man – there are good bits too”.
(b) Get over it and get on with what you’ve got to do.
(c) Stuff that for a game of soldiers, that's not fair.


ps. if you answered (c) then rejection could likely come your way full on in the face if you charge in trying to get sex with your partner without first having seduced her into giving you that ‘green for go’ signal.


The Get More Sex, Get Better Sex Course will help you with all of these issues... try Week 1 of the course for free right now at Barnes and Noble, Smashwords, Good Reads, Kobo, Diesel and Baker Taylor.

Yahoo answers post - How to spot good opportunities to initiate sex

I answered a post on the Yahoo Answers site titled "How do I change how I initiate sex with my wife?" but due to somewhat limited space for my answer I said that I'd put some additional answers on my blog, they should be useful to all as well though...

How To Spot Good Opportunities For Sex
Yup, you got it – some possible events, times, situations, etc. to keep an eagle out for - for when your attempt to initiate sex with your partner is more likely to be met favourably. Keep a watch out for the following situations, as they may be a good opportunity to try to initiate sex with her – but with all of these do also remember to ensure that your partner is in a good place (ie she's relaxed, its not late and she'll only be thinking about getting some sleep, etc. [there's more on this in a checklist of things to ensure are in place before you try to initiate sex in Week 3 of The Get More Sex, Get Better Sex Course])…

• When you arent going to be interupted, ie when your children are asleep and aren't going to leap in on you both.
• If she's showing signs of wanting sex with you (ie she's getting all touchy feely with you).
• The end of a working week and you dont both have to get up for work the next day.
• Surprise sex can also work well, ie just take her by the hand and lead her upstairs to the bedroom, then confidently start removing her clothing, kissing her bod as you expose her bod.
• After a half glass of your partner’s favourite tipple when she’s generally relaxed and in a good place.

And there's 7 more suggestions on Day 14 of Week 3 of The Get More Sex Get Better Sex Course.

Increasing your partners sex drive - Wikihow article

Posting an article that the folks at Wikihow considered inappropriate for it's viewers.... thought it may benefit my readers though. Its a really high level summary of the process of getting more sex with your partner....

Increasing your partner's sex drive is relatively easy when you know how. However…. It’s going to take a little bit of hard work on your part, and it’s well worth knowing that the way a woman gets turned on is very different to the way that men get turned on. The process in this article will give you some basic starting pointers in the right direction.

1. First off then – The Ground Rules - Stop doing stupid stuff that’s going to be totally quashing your partners sex drive and putting her off of sex with you. For example; quit pestering her for sex all the time, quit with any anger you may have towards her, stop arguing with your partner, don’t put her down, give her some respect, quit trying to control her, stop using the really rubbish seduction technique of “are you in the mood?” and quit reminding her that you aren’t getting as much sex as you’d like.

2. Lay down good foundations – having stopped doing stupid stuff – start doing good positive things for your relationship. Once you start the positive relationship stuff then you’ve started the process of laying down good foundations for increasing your partners sex drive. What sort of good positive stuff can you do? Well, try; connecting to your partner more, spend time with her, listen (properly) to her when she’s talking with you, remember that women don’t have to have a purpose for a conversation, make your partner feel important, get (really) good at kissing your partner, be positive about her body, value your partners time and help out around the house more, show her some compassion, answer the question when she asks you stuff and get more touchy feely with your partner – all the time, not just when you want to increase her sex drive.

3. Getting you out of the ‘dull sex’ rut – your partner will more than likely have a higher sex drive if you perform well in bed! No pressure chaps! It’s well worth bearing in mind that your partner may not be overly enthused about leaping into bed with you for the same, dull old sex. So go do some homework on how you can become better in bed. There are loads and loads of books out there on what to do, but for starters have a think on this one… if you are going through the same motions every single time you get into bed with your partner then stop it. Just quit being dull in bed - learn some new moves, and break your routine up with these new moves. For example - try changing the way that you initiate sex with your partner for once.

4. Increasing your partner’s sex drive is something that you need to keep topping up on a daily basis – it’s not something that you can magically switch on in the blink of an eye when you want it switched on. On a daily basis you need to be doing stuff that you may well struggle to see how it’s connected with increasing her sex drive; connecting with your partner, talking with her, getting all touchy feely with her, showing interest in her and in what she’s talking with you about, appreciating her, listening (properly) to her, switching off the TV and talking with her instead of watching that programme she can’t stand, telling her that you love her often and giving her affection every single day.

5. And when you’ve got good at doing all of the above stuff – then you’ll have laid down some really decent foundations. Before we move on to the next stages, were you’ll really start moving up the gears to increase her sex drive - it’s worth knowing that there are times when she’s unlikely to be interested, and you’ll really struggle to get her in to the right place. Her sex drive will be lower if any of the following are true; she’s got a whole load of stuff on her mind (we’ll come back to this in later steps), she’s tired, it’s really late in the day and she just wants to go to sleep, she’s really drunk, she’s just eaten a HUGE meal and she’s feeling really full and bloated, she’s not at all relaxed, she feels about as romantic as a mouldy chicken or you’re both going to get disturbed (ie by small children). If any of these are about right then it’s well worth doing what you can to remove them as potential barriers.

6. If you can get good at spotting, or creating, opportunities for when her sex drive is likely to be higher then you’ll have a way better chance of success. Having a weekly date night with your partner, for example, is a great time to be trying to increase your partners sex drive. Having a dedicated night a week where you commit to spending decent, quality time with your partner where you get the opportunity to relax and romance her, will boost the chance of her sex drive skyrocketing. Likewise – watching films with erotic content (I’m talking the Hollywood type here, not your average male oriented porn flick) will do a grand job in fast tracking her sex drive in the right direction. And of course taking your partner away for the weekend to a nice hotel where you both get the opportunity to spend decent, relaxed time together, will work wonders for increasing her desire / drive for sex with you.

7. So how do you take her sex drive to the final level? The level where she’ll be absolutely gagging to get your clothes off? First off – connect with her; make her feel valued and special, listen well to her, spend time with her, catch up, appreciate her – for what she does for you, for your family and for your home, flirt with her, compliment and flatter her and maintain eye contact.

8. Once you’ve connected with her get going with some serious romancing and relaxing of your partner – run her a bath, pour her a glass of wine, make her laugh, make sure that you’ve done all that you can to free her mind of all of the stuff that’s floating round in it, put on some nice relaxing music, candles are your friend – dim the electric lights and go light the gentle flickery kind, make sure that she’s warm – if she’s cold this will only kill her sex drive stone dead, be a gentleman – treat your partner like a lady.

9. And once she’s relaxed and romanced - undertake a little foreplay on her mind… start by banishing your normal dull, everyday conversations about “who’s taking Gemima to ballet on Saturday”, or “what colour you are going to paint the hallway” and instead have some seriously romantic conversations – reminisce about the first time you met, the first time you kissed, your first holiday together. Just build it up slow and be subtle, don’t launch right in and make it obvious that you are trying to steer the conversation round that way. Be charismatic, be funny – make her laugh, introduce a little bit of touchy feely flirting, flirt confidently, go for a little sexual innuendo.

10. And finally when you’ve got all the right signals from foreplaying her mind you can undertake a little foreplay on her bod to take her sex drive to the final level; start by getting touchy feely with your fingers and lips on her erogenous zones, play with her hair, hold her hand, play footsie with her, turn up the dial on your conversations or give her a massage.

Revamped website now gone live - more articles to help you get more

Hello all, our revamped website has now gone live, and there are a good few articles now up there to help you get more, with more articles to come over the course of the next few weeks. Please do go take a look and let us know what you think. Good or bad.

Revamping the website - should you or shouldn't you schedule a sex date with your partner?

This blog post is an early view of another article that we'll be posting up to our soon to go live revamped website. This one explores the pro's and cons of making a sex date with your partner. It's one that attempts to help you answer the “Should you, or shouldn’t you? question as well as being a short "how to". And as usual this is one geared up pretty much just for the male readers out there. We hope you like it and that it helps you. Do let us know what you think via the comments.

Making a "sex date" with your partner can be a great way of getting more by getting her preparing for and thinking about sex with you, but is it a wise thing to do? In this article we’ll take a look at the pro’s and con’s of having a sex date, and if you decide that it is something that might work for you then we’ve got some great tips for a successful date night in our mini how-to guide. Let’s start off the article though by looking at the pro’s of sex dates...

The pro's of scheduling and having a sex date with your partner

• Well first off the main benefit to you is that you'll very likely get some sex! Brilliant!
• Secondly - scheduling in a sex date should go some way to getting you back to those early days of your relationship where you both knew that at the end of your date you would very likely get some sex. Which meant that you both anticipated for this way better, ie you both got prepared for the date way better than you do now; your partner putting on her sauciest underwear, you throwing cologne over yourself, etc. This anticipation of sex could well rejuvenate the excitement around it.
• She'll "self-prepare" for your sex date because the idea of sex with you gets firmly planted in her mind way earlier in the day, and she should get herself emotionally excited without you having to put in a huge amount of effort to put those thoughts there, let’s call this “getting sex on the brain”.
• Because of this “self-preparation”, ie just by thinking about it, her brain and body should automatically release hormones that prepare the way for a fabulously hot evening with you.
• Fifth - it might be the case that normally you both collapse into bed late at the end of a long, exhausting day and the last thing on your partners mind will be sex. But with a sex date it shouldn’t really matter how tired she is, because you've both committed to having sex and therefore...
• Sixth – you’ll both be making a conscious effort to go up to bed earlier, which is something that if you want your partner to be enjoying the experience as well then it’s certainly worth you doing if you’ve both got to get up for work the next day.
• A “sex date” is something you can diarise, and you can diarise it with some regularity, ie regularity of sex for you.
• With a sex date you are both adopting a “just do it” approach (well maybe she is, you probably don’t need much persuasion to have sex) which should work really well, especially if your partner knows that she enjoys it when she gets there but that she just needs that initial push in the right direction.
• Having a sex date gets you both remembering what is important about your sex life, and it "officially" recognises something that is (hopefully) important to both of you.
• If you aren't having enough sex at the moment then scheduling sex shouldn't make it boring, quite the opposite - it can potentially have the effect of rejuvenating your sex lives and your relationship.

The Con's of scheduling and having a sex date with your partner

• Scheduling a date for sex could kill some spontaneity in your sex life.
• Unless you put in the work your partner might not be “in the mood” enough, and she may just go through the motions with you, and therefore the sex could more than likely just be boring.
• She may not prepare for the sex date in the quite the same way she used to when you first got together for a whole variety of possible reasons, including, but certainly not limited to; time, work, commitments in the home, children and other family  members.

Okay then, so that’s the pro’s and the con’s. Now its time to have a think. Is this something that you would be happy to suggest to your partner that you schedule in? Do you think it would work for you both?

If you’ve arrived at the conclusion that it is a good idea, and that you’d like to give it a try then it’s probably worth having a read of our “Talking about sex with your partner” article here first, before you begin the conversation. Because if you haven’t tried a sex date with your partner before then suggesting one could well start up quite a frank, open and honest conversation about sex, and you’re going to want to be prepared for it.

Then having done that the following will help you on your way to a successful sex date…

How to have a successful sex date with your partner

• Firstly then – sit down with your partner and agree a time and date for your sex date that will work for you both…
• Get your diaries out and plan the date or dates in.
• This is an obvious point to make, but do try and diarise it for a time that you won't be likely to have to cancel the sex date. View your sex date as a "commitment" that you both make to each other, and hopefully, being a couple who don’t regularly break your commitments to each other, this should mean that you both go through with the date.
• Make it early enough in the evening to combat the normal issue of not getting any because you are trying to initiate sex with your partner too late in the day. Suggest that the sex date starts an hour before you normally go to bed for example.
• A morning sex date could also be something to consider?
• When you put it into your diaries you could try being inventive with how you write it in, you could make a date to, for example, “meet in the bath on Wednesday night”.
• Try "doing diaries" at the beginning of the month, sitting down together and putting your sex dates in for the entire month. And maybe also putting in a "meeting" where you re-schedule the next months' worth. This one may be a little bit too formal for most, but it’s worth a consideration at least.
• Talk about the sex date before you diarise it, perhaps to introduce the idea to your partner…
• Make sure that you are both talking about the subject honestly. Discuss with your partner what has been working right for your sex life and what still needs to be fixed. If you want more sex than you are currently getting then its worth at the very least letting your partner know this, but do it nicely and in the right way, ie no accusatory tones.
• In order for a sex date to work you both need to be honest with each other and you both need to be in agreement about a load of stuff, ie for starters you both need to be 100% behind the idea of having a sex date.
• If she seems hesitant about trying a sex date with you then it might be worth mentioning that it could be the “just do it” approach that perhaps you both need. Assuming that this is correct – you could remind your partner that she knows that she really enjoys it when she gets there but that she just needs that initial push in the right direction.
• If she still doesn’t seem that keen then you could suggest that for your first sex dates that you both start off slowly and perhaps spend the evening on foreplay only. Come to an agreement that there will be no intercourse. This is a great way to build you both up nice and slowly from a situation where there’s not been a lot of sex in a while.
• When you get to the day that your sex date is happening do all that you can to get yourselves in the mood. Try any of the tips in the relax and romance sections of Weeks 2 and 3 of The Get More Sex, Get Better Sex Course as well as these ideas…
• You need to remember that just because she's committed to your sex date it doesn’t mean you can skip all of the good stuff that you've got to do to get her in the mood.
• Sit down and catch up first, talk the day out - connect.
• Light candles and eat a delicious meal together.
• Run a bath for your partner so that she can go have a nice long soak, or perhaps both of you leap in the bath together.
• And if you do then take a bottle of something sparkly with you, offer to wash your partners back for her, dry each other down and then continue your date in the bedroom.
• Turn your bedroom into a sacred space, decorate it with candles, and get some soft music and lighting on the go. Change your sheets and make sure its smelling nice in there!
• Do also remember to keep your expectations open and reasonable for date night, those first few might not quite pan out as you hope them too. If they don’t then try a little massage, just hold each other or talk and share some fantasies.
• Having said all that its also worth remembering that it’s not just up to you to get her in the mood, its up to both of you to be helping to get each other in the mood.
• And remember that you don’t have to have penetrative sex - just being naked and close will kick start things off again. And if you haven’t had any for a while your partner may well need this bit of extra time to start getting back those all-important tingling’s of desire again.
• If you've scheduled morning sex then consider setting the alarm to wake you both up 30 minutes earlier than you do normally, that way you are "making the time" for sex, and a quickie before work will set you both up for the day wonderfully.
• Try occasionally, if money and babysitting will allow, to have a sex date out of the house, perhaps schedule a night away together, or if you can't do a night away just book into a hotel for the night anyway and use the room for an hour or two, then walk out! Do remember to pay in advance though!
• If your sex life has become dull and boring then you could try scheduling a fantasy "sex date"…
• Perhaps try putting in two fantasy appointments per month, one where you determine the fantasy, and the other where your partner does.
• The anticipation for this sort of sex date, assuming you are both ok with it, will be that bit more heightened.
• You'd want to agree the fantasy with your partner first though, just incase she really wasn’t okay with it, so if one or both of you are uncomfortable talking about it then you could always both write down your fantasies instead, and then swap notes when you’ve finished writing.
• If your partner says that she really doesn’t have any fantasies then you can of course also suggest that it doesn’t have to be a traditional fantasy, ie schoolgirl and master, but instead it could be her fantasy of a romantic evening with you, ie a romantic dinner together, taking a bath together and you drying her down afterwards, champagne, rose petals in the bath, a massage, etc.

And finally - if you absolutely have to cancel your sex date, then ensure that you re-schedule it, don't skip sex dates, whatever you do, otherwise it could signal the end for this idea working for you both.

Revamping the website - Get More Sex By Building The Connection With Your Partner

Get More Sex By Building The Connection With Your Partner

Well hello, and a happy Wednesday! Todays second blog post is another advance screening for an article we'll be posting on the Get More, Get Better website very soon. This article is about the importance of creating and building a "connection" with your partner if you want more sex with her. Have a read, see what you think....


If you want to be getting yourself more sex in your long term relationship then you need to have a good solid connection to your partner. No, not that kind of connection, the other kind, the emotional kind.

So what on earth is this connecting thing that I am wittering on about? Well - in summary it can
be defined as ‘creating intimacy between you and your partner’ or ‘bridging the emotional gap between you both’.

So why do you really need to connect to your partner? For a number of reasons...

1. In simple terms - if you work on the connection between you and your partner outside of the bedroom - then when you are both inside the bedroom your partner will be much more receptive to your touch and your suggestion for intimacy.
2. It’s more than likely that your partner will have a need to feel connected to you in order to be in the right place to want to have sex. Again, it really is that simple.
3. When there are connection issues in a relationship the sex is going to suffer.
4. All the stuff that you may previously have thought of as nonsense, like; holding hands, talking, candles, nice romantic meals, etc. are all, ultimately, the groundwork that you need to do for sex to be a possibility later on. By doing all of this good connecting stuff you are stirring the hormones in your partner’s bod that will eventually get stirred up enough to put her in the right place to want to have sex with you. And in women you can stir those hormones by doing those ‘nonsense’ simple things.

So how do you connect better with your partner? We’ll get to that in just a second, two more important things first…

1. When do you connect with your partner? Daily, that’s when. Things such as talking with her daily, appreciating her daily, making time for her every day, having a ritual that you perform every day of making her a cup of tea in bed, spending time snuggled up together every night, listening to her every time you speak with her, keeping up your touch daily, etc. would be great examples.
2. It’s worth knowing that there is a difference between ‘bonding’, what we chaps do together, and ‘connecting’, which is what women do. Just keep that in mind when reading the following, because there is a big difference between the two.

Okay then, you’ve seen a few ideas already on how you can connect, so here are five more simple ideas…

1) Appreciate your partner

Now, what I’m about to suggest won’t happen immediately, it will take some time to build this up, but eventually (if you’re doing it right) you should find that your partner will love giving back to you when she is not being taken advantage of – in other words – if you treat your partner well then you should get treated well back in return. Okay, that’s the theory, so what’s the practical thing that you can actually do? Well, simply put I suggest that you go out and express your appreciation for your partner in words. Doubtless there are going to be loads and loads of things that you can appreciate her for, all you’ve got to do is to open your eyes to what your partner does for you, for your home, for your family, etc. It might be as simple as her doing the washing up or emptying the dishwasher, or making you your dinner, or looking after your sick child at home. Your words of appreciation don’t have to be much, just a simple “thank you for doing the washing up”, or “thank you for a delicious dinner”, will suffice and will go a long way. There are a couple of golden rules to follow though please:

• Don’t make appreciating your partner become a habit that you do at the same time, every single day for exactly the same thing. Break it up a little, appreciate her for different things every day.
• You’ve absolutely got to be genuine in your appreciation. You can’t sound like a robot going through the motions; otherwise it’s almost worse than not doing it at all. Put some feeling into the words that you choose to use.

2) Make her feel valued and special
Let her know that you care and that you are thinking of her. Say nice, positive, stuff to your partner, and do so regularly. That’s quite a wide ranging thing to suggest, so you’ll probably want an example or two… so I would suggest perhaps watching out for things like your partner having chosen a nice outfit to go to work in that day – if she has then make a nice positive comment about it, or if your partner made you a delicious meal the night before then say positive things about the meal, perhaps in a note left before you go to work, in an e-mail or text message maybe. Or perhaps she’s done her hair really nicely that day, comment on that, a simple “your hair looks really nice today” would go down well for example.

What you are looking to do here is to maximise her good qualities, and let her know that you are paying attention to her and that you care. Why? Because the more you do of those things, the more she’ll do them because she feels good about herself and the more she’ll pay attention and care about you and your needs, if you see what I mean.

3) Start a ritual

No, I’m not talking starting a cult here, I’m talking a little simpler than that. A ritual with your partner is what I’m suggesting you start. This could take many forms, and if you start one it shows your partner that you are thinking of her, that you care and that you love her. And doing all of those things helps to get her in the right place. Here are some ideas of the sorts of ritual you can start:

• Make her a cup of tea before you go to work, or if she’s asleep when you leave then write a nice note and put it somewhere she’ll see when she wakes up, or in an unexpected place. You could say one of the following: just say hello! let her know that you’re thinking of her, tell her you love her, tell her you hope that she has a nice day, that you’re looking forward to seeing her later, etc. Or do them all!
• Let her know you’ve got to work okay! A simple e-mail, text message or phone call would suffice.
• Pop a note, a treat or just something silly to make her smile in her work or lunch bag.
• Kiss lots and regularly, and always kiss her goodnight.
• Write her a note on a postcard or a letter and send it by post, yes that’s write post it, even if you live with her.
• Regularly have a weekly, scheduled date night together, without fail!
• If you can afford it send her flowers regularly. Even once every six months would do just fine, I’m not suggesting that this is a once a week thing.
• If your partner cooks most of the time then give her the night off of this chore by you doing the cooking, at least once a week will do nicely.
• Go for a walk once a week together, and hold hands.
• If she wants to - let her sleep in on a weekend, even if it’s just on a Sunday morning.

Potentially I know that this may all sound really silly, but I promise you that your partner will appreciate these things. Once you’ve started one, or ideally more, of these rituals alternate them out a bit, ie don’t always write the same thing and leave the note in the same place at the same time every week, change the days that you do stuff, don’t be predictable. And once you’ve got the hang of this one keep on doing it…

4) Give your partner your time

Make a conscious effort to spend time with your partner.

• Make sure that you stop with your partner on a night, ideally a good hour before bed, but if you can’t manage that then at least make sure you take 20 minutes to snuggle up together quietly and ideally just chat, or watch TV and snuggle in close.
• Take 10 minutes to have a coffee together on a morning before you go to work, or the same amount of time to have a cup of tea together when you get back from work. If you think you don’t have the time then I’m sorry, but you’re wrong! You do have the time, you have exactly the same number of hours in the day as everyone else, it’s about how you use that time – you could set your alarm 10 minutes earlier on a morning for example.

5) Give your partner affection every single day...
...not just when you want sex…

• Cuddle her, either for no particular reason, or just before you go to work, or when you’ve just got back, hold her round at night just before you go to sleep. Cuddle lots, hold tightly round your partner, close your eyes and breathe deeply whilst you do.
• Hold her hand more.
• Kiss her, and do it regularly, each day and every night before you go to sleep, every morning before you get out of bed, before you go to work - there’s no understating how important this one is to build the connection between you both – its right up there amongst the top things that you can do to get your partners motor revving up for sex.
• Run your fingers over her hand or inside her palm or rub finger tips together randomly (but do this when the moment feels right obviously).
• When she’s sat with you on the sofa and you’re catching up, or indeed watching the (dreaded*) TV get your partner to put her legs across you, then give her a nice gentle foot massage.

* I only say that its dreaded because you both sat there staring blankly at a moving picture on a screen is not the best of ways to be connecting to your partner.

How to get your girlfriend to have more sex with you

In todays post I wanted to answer a question from a chap that I found on the web, its a "how do I get more sex?" question, and the site wouldnt let me post my full response, so as its a fairly standard question and the answer is hopefully useful to all - I thought I'd answer it fully on my blog. Here is the original question...

"My girlfriend and I have been going out for 8 1 year and we live together and i need sex every night but she wants it 1-2 times per week so i try to get somthing going and she says she just dosint want to right now"

And here are my thoughts...


I guess the first question would be - how is your relationship? I'm guessing its in a reasonably good place because she is still happy to have sex with you 1-2 times per week. But if its not then sorting it out would be the first step to getting yourself more. There are loads of things you can do to improve your relationship, I wont go into them all here as it could take forever! but a few pointers would be to...

1. Ensure that you arent arguing
2. Not to put your partner down. 

Once you are happy that your relationship is in a good place there are a number of things that I'd suggest that you stop doing if you want more sex...

1. Quit constantly pursuing your partner for sex. If you are doing this it may well be putting her off of sex with you.
2. Try not to remind / tell her that you arent getting as much sex as you'd like to be getting. Again this will more than likely only put her off of getting into bed with you more than the 1-2 times you are getting at the moment.
3. If you've tried initiating sex with her, but she rejects you - then don't "close down" afterwards - just make sure that you are still being "okay" with her - and definetly dont punish her for not giving you sex the number of times per week that you want it.

There are loads more things you should stop if you are doing them, but those are the biggies to watch out for.


Okay - so, having stopped doing those things, start doing this stuff...

1. Make sure that you are connecting to her, and do this daily, not just when you want sex. How do you connect to your girlfriend more? Spending more time with her is an obvious one, sending her romantic messages if you are away from her during the day would be another, and touch is also really important - non-sexual touch when you are just "connecting" though, ie holding hands, touching her on the small of her back, etc., talk with her more, listen well, and when you do - make sure that you are making her feel important.
2. Are you helping her out with stuff around the house? It's possible that she might not be giving you sex the number of times you want it becuase she resents you for not helping her with all of the dull domestic chores.
3. Ensure that you are positively boosting her self-esteem - thats positively boosting her mind, and also ensuring that you are giving her positive boosts about her body as well.
4. Ensure that you appreciate her, ie appreciate the nice stuff that she does for you, and of course the routine dull stuff, perhaps she's cooked a nice tea for you, make sure that you say "thank you".
5. Are you setting aside decent quality time for the both of you to relax and connect?
6. Make sure that you are pleasing her in bed - vary your sexual repertoire, dont always do the same thing in the same order, at the same time, in the same way - again this is a huge topic, for which there are loads of books out there to help you. Just try and mix it up a bit, try a new technique to please her when you do get into bed, try some different positions, are you satisfying her before you satisfy yourself? You are looking to ensure that she's getting some serious pleasure from the experience of sleeping with you, but also to get her feeling excited about getting into bed with you because she's not sure what to expect.

Start watching out for those good opportunities to initiate sex with her... its more likely to be a good opportunity to initiate when...

1. You arent going to get interuppted.
2. Youve both been watching a romantic film with some erotic content (and the erotic content has done some of the work to get your partner thinking about sex with you more).
3. Its not really late in the day and she's only thinking to herself "I need to get up for work in 8 hours, I need to get some sleep".

And when you spot a good opportunity try this to intiate sex with her...

1. Make sure that you are "connected" with your girlfriend; build the emotional connection you’ll need, make her feel valued and special, use all available technology to ensure that you've connected with her during the day, ie if you've been away from her, send her romantic messages, telling her, for example - that you "cant wait to see her later on", make sure that you've built up your non-sexual touching prior to initiating sex with her.
2. Make sure that she is relaxed and romanced - has she had time to switch between "hectic work mode" and getting home? Or does she have 101 things on her mind that, for example, she's got to get done at work, or to get done around the house - so ask her if "theres anything you can do to help?", if theres stuff that needs doing around your house for example, if there is then make sure you do it, or perhaps she just wants to talk out her day with you to get those things off her mind. Relaxing and romancing her is basically you showing her that you care for her and that you've been thinking about her, so just do nice stuff for her, ie make her a delicious meal, run her a bath and pour her a glass of her favourite drink to have whilst she's in the bath, put some relaxing, romantic music on that you'll both like, offer to rub her shoulders, flirt with her, make her laugh, and above all - be a gentleman and treat her like a lady.
3. Thirdly - undertake a little foreplay on her mind; make her feel sexy and build her desire for sex with you by working on her emotions. Get her thinking about sex as much as possible –activate her sexual imagination - you do this through the conversations that you have - this is a huge topic, but to give you some pointers - you won't be seducing your partner into the sack with you if you are having ordinary mundane conversations about the weather, or what you're both going to be doing at work tomorrow, make them fun, exciting and romantic instead - talk about past memories that you've both shared, talk about your future, build rapport with her, start to build your conversations up towards those with sexual context, ie a little bit of sexual innuendo here and there - your aim is to build the sexual tension.
4. Go for some foreplay on her bod - make sure that you have built up your touch (ie going straight for her genitals is bad!), hold her hand lots, kiss lots, play footsie with her under the table, play with her hair, use your fingers and lips on her more sensitive zones, turn your conversations up a notch - tell her how beautiful you think she is, ask her about her sexual fantasies. Massage is also a great way to get her in the mood, start with a back or leg rub, and build it up to more sensual massage.
5. And finally, ‘initiate’ sex! Again, a huge topic, and there are many ways to actually initiate sex, but just be bold about it, initiate with confidence.

Revamping the website - 10 Self-improvement ideas to get you more sex

Here we go with article no.2 for the (currently being) revamped website. I'm posting this article up here for general review and comment before it goes live on the site at some point over the course of the next couple of weeks. This article suggests 10 things that you can improve about yourself in order for your partner to see you as a more attractive chap to want to leap into the sack with...

"10 Ways To Improve Yourself For The Benefit Of Your Sex Life
Before we begin though let’s take a quick look at why you’d want to improve. If you are the sort of chap who has somewhat given up on personal grooming then it’s worth knowing that you are sending unconscious signals to your partner that you are giving up on a number of things in your relationship – the main one of which is that you are stopping trying to look good to impress her. When you first get together with her it’s very likely that you paid a lot of attention to ensuring that you looked good for your new partner - so why wouldn’t you want to keep doing this? Especially if it helped to get you more sex. So with that in mind let’s get on with your first suggestion...

Self-improvement tip No. 1 - Have a wash
The first load of self-improvement tips are all going to be around sorting your personal grooming. This simply has to be up to scratch if you want to get more. Ensuring good hygiene levels at all times around your partner is a must do, you’ve got no choice. Please take a good look at your personal cleanliness - because poor hygiene is going to be a sure fire turn off for your partner. If you don’t do so already – then start washing regularly, and wash well when you do. If you don’t then your body odour is going to completely turn your partner off of you. Take a good look at your deodorant, if you haven’t got a decent one, and it doesn’t work then you are going to be Mr. Stinky when you get home and see your partner at the end of the day.

Self-improvement tip No. 2 – Breath, yours
Halitosis is going to totally scupper your chances of scoring more regularly with your partner. Start this process off by at the very least ensuring that you do your teeth twice a day - bits of broccoli floating between your teeth (for example!) when you are trying to seduce your partner isn’t going to help matters. Once you’ve got this under your belt, not that this was overly tricky!, then go and regularly buy yourself a decent mouthwash, oh yes, and remembering to use it is a good thing too. And as a final suggestion for this tip – purchasing yourself an electric toothbrush not only helps your teeth and is (hopefully) unlikely to break the bank, but might also make your partner think that you are starting to look after yourself as well – positive benefits all round.

Self-improvement tip No. 3 – Garlic salami sausage mouth
If your halitosis isn’t going away, then firstly take a look at what you are eating please. If only one of you is eating garlic or heavily spiced foods on a lunchtime then choose the breath friendly alternative, or make sure that you both eat something garlicky or spicy on a night time to even you both out, or share a mouthful of your food with your partner if she’s eating with you. If you don’t, Mr. Stinky Chops, she is going to be somewhat put off of you. And, if, despite having brushed your teeth regularly, flossed, mouthwashed and stopped eating garlic, you’ve still got halitosis issues then start by going to see your dentist for a bit of confidential help. There is always something that you can do to improve things in this department.

Self-improvement tip No. 4 - Ditch the scratchy face
Being Mr. Scratchy will only irritate your partner when you get the opportunity to get close to her to have a good snog. If you absolutely must have the stubbly look on the go, or if your beard is essential to your life then go give it a good soften. Why? Because a scratchy face will only put your partner off of kissing you, and kissing is a very important way to get your partner going. Hair moisturiser for beards please, and good old fashioned facial moisturiser, applied daily, if you absolutely must be Mr. Stubbly.

Self-improvement tip No. 5 – Good smells
Try appealing to your partner's sense of smell; wear a nice cologne. It’s not tricky, all you’ve got to do is go down your local posh department store (preferably with a wod of cash in your back pocket, because I’ll admit this isn’t an overly cheap tip to implement) and chat with the nice ladies on lots of different counters. They’ll be more than happy to give you a squirt of whatever pong it is that they’re trying to push. Better still though - go shopping with your beloved…

a) She’ll more than likely blooming love going shopping with you (please try and pretend you actually want to be there though, ie if she drags you into the shoe shop then don't moan and whinge).
b) She’ll be way impressed that you are starting to take care of yourself that much that you are actually spending some readies on your personal grooming and most importantly of all...
c) She can help you to choose a fragrance that she likes on you, then you haven’t wasted a load of money on something that she totally and utterly can’t stand the smell of.

Self-improvement tip No. 6 - Get some exercise
Aren’t exercising at all? Or just doing a little bit? Then get exercising or get going with some more. Why? Because it’s good for your head and your bod, and your partner will more than likely be impressed, that’s why.

Better still exercise with your partner...

• Exercise increases the libido and this is only a good thing for getting you more of what you want post exercise...
• Perhaps join a gym together and make a commitment to eat more healthily together at the same time. It’ll be tough to begin with, but having got into the regular swing of exercise and healthy eating it will doubtless do wonders for your sex life.
• You'll both feel better about yourselves when you exercise, especially if one or both of you are concerned about your weight or body image. Your partner will also think better of you if she thinks that you are taking her concerns into consideration.
• Struggling to find the time to exercise or haven’t got the cash to join a gym? Then go for a walk together on an evening after work, you can even do this with the kids if you have any. Why? Because it’s a great way to connect you both. Nature can be a really great mood enhancer; it gives you a chance to unwind, to escape from your home and to catch up with each other.
• If you live in a city then go escape to the countryside on a weekend for a walk, and smell the fresh air, unwind from the hustle and bustle of the city centre.
• If her weight is bothering you then suggesting that you both exercise together is brilliant – because you are helping to support her lose weight (assuming of course that she’s trying to).
• And don’t ever give in to the possibility of ‘middle age spread’ hitting you. Just tell it “NO”, go work hard to do something about it.

Self-improvement tip No. 7 - Be Self-Assured
One way to get or stay seriously attractive to your partner is to be a self-assured man, who is: secure in his identity; and his place in the world; and who treats his partner in the right way. It can only help your partner to be turned on by you if you are confident and self-assured. So how do you go about this then?

• You cannot be a confident partner / husband if you are not a confident man. If confidence isn’t something that comes naturally to you, then just fake it until you make it. Become more assertive at work and at home; straighten your posture up, get working on achieving that promotion at work, follow all of these grooming tips, make that tiny investment in more self-help literature or attend some seminars on building confidence.
• This is going to sound barking mad, but start telling yourself how great you are at least 10 times a day. If you accomplish a challenging task at work, or do some great DIY at home then give yourself some damned praise. Say it quietly to yourself in your head, or shout it out loud! You don’t have to do it where people can hear you, just let yourself know that you’ve done good.
• Look in the mirror every day and find stuff about yourself that you like. It could be anything, even if you just tell yourself that you’ve got nice eyes! Then when you are feeling a little on the insecure side tell yourself the good stuff.
• Follow the "Esquire" tips from The Get More Sex Get Better Sex Course – start by going through your cupboards and drawers and be brave…. get rid of any clothing that makes you feel fat or unattractive when you put it on. Keep only the stuff that makes you feel good about yourself when you wear it.
• Be confident with your body, if you aren’t then your partner will pick up on this and this will be a turn off for her. Even if you aren't confident about it just do the "fake it" thing again – pretend. Eventually you will even believe yourself. You could also follow the exercise tips from no.6 earlier, the more you do the more you’ll stop having to fake. Love, like and approve of your own body and your partner will do the same back to you!
• Don’t be a low status male – ensure that your partner can be proud of you when you are both out and about… if you are at a function with your partner then you need to show her that you can hold your own and that you aren’t some sort of social leper. So go be social – don’t show off though, don’t moan about having to go in the first place, quit putting people down, watch your language and the laddiness when you are speaking with others, don’t be a shy old hermit who prefers his dingy cave to the humdrum of a party, and quit constantly tugging at your partners sleeve as soon as you get there whispering “can we go home yet?”. Instead - show her that you can be the life and soul of the party. Impress her at the party or function and that may come back to you in a good way when you do finally return home.
• However… exude confidence, yes, but don’t be an egotistical maniac with it, have some humility and be modest at all times, not just when you are with your partner.

Self-improvement tip No. 8 - Look into my eyes, build the intimacy
Look into your partners eyes more often, like you did when you first started going out. Don’t do it the way the local village lunatic would do – ie with a crazed look in your eyes that has “stalker” written all over it! Instead look lovingly into your partners eyes when you are sat across from her at the dinner table, or simply when you are sat talking and snuggling with her, remember that this tip is part of the requirements of being a good listener. When you are sat down with your partner having a drink, connecting, at dinner - clink your glasses together and propose a toast, say something intimate when you are clinking your glasses - use it as an opportunity to get across a nice, loving connection between you both, hold your gaze for longer than your partner might expect you to, start to build up that intimacy.

Self-improvement tip No. 9 - Nails, the ones on your fingers, not the long, sharp metal type.
If you’ve got dirty nails then go back to that health and beauty store that’s hopefully now getting used to your custom and part with a few more pennies to get a scrubbing brush. Then get back home, find the soap and use brush and soap on your fingernails! Scrub the 20+ years worth out of dirt from them. Grubby hands will not be attractive to your partner. And whilst we are on the subject of hands please bear with me whilst I request that you step out of your comfort zone again because I’d like to tell you please the following rules around your nails:

1. Keep your fingernails cut short
2. Keep them smooth
3. And stop biting them!

Why? Because it’s in your best interest... if you are being intimate with your partner the last thing that she is going to want is a flipping great set of mini saws on the ends of your fingers. Do I need to say any more?

Self-improvement tip No. 10 – Make sure that your partner values youOn day 6 of The Get More Sex, Get Better Sex Course, we look at how important it is for you getting more of what you want to show your partner that you value her. Well, this tip uses that same word – ‘value’ - your partner needs to value you as her partner. Do I need to put that another way perhaps? How much does your partner value having you around? The theory goes that the more your partner values you outside of the bedroom the more your sexual value increases inside the bedroom. So how do you know how much your partner values you? I’d advise against actually asking her this sort of question, and instead to do the job yourself – sit down with a bit of paper, be honest with yourself and start the process off by making a list of things that would ensure that your partner respected you more. Then, make a list of things that you can do to make your partner value you more. Then it’s simple really – just go do them.

Week 2 of The Get More Sex, Get Better Sex Course includes an additional 10 suggestions for your self-improvement, including; "Become an old romantic", "Become a flirt" and "Be Self-Assured"."

You Tube Video Intro for The Get More Sex, Get Better Sex Course

Last week we filmed, edited and uploaded a 7 minute video intro to The Get More Sex, Get Better Sex Course. If you are after some speedy tips on how to get more sex with your partner then start right here...

Oh yes, and we'll sort the lighting issues in the next video!

Brilliant ways to get absolutely no sex from your wife over the Jubilee weekend

It's been the long Jubilee weekend here in particularly rainy England, and I've been observing the crazy behaviour of a few hapless male guests towards their partners at a couple of street parties that we've attended. So I thought I'd write (sarcastically) about how much sex these chaps probably weren't going to be getting on any of those chilly bank holiday evenings…

Don't answer her question
If there is something that is concerning your partner, or if she’s asking you a direct question then the best thing to do if you want loads more sex with her is to shrug, say "whatever" (or similar words to that effect) and then either walk off or simply continue watching the football, under no circumstances give her a proper response. If something is important to your partner then try to give it as little of your time as is possible, and definitely don’t show any respect for her needs. This will doubtless magically turn your partner into a sex crazed lunatic for you who will only want to whip her clothes off and leap onto your fine naked form as soon as the kids have gone to bed. It's pretty much guaranteed.

Also - if you are constantly getting questions such as “are you okay?”, “is something wrong?” or “what’s the matter?” - then you need to know two important things…

1. Remember - your partner can read your mind, she knows exactly what you are thinking, so to be honest there is no point in wasting your time and energy explaining to her what the issue is.
2. Secondly - if you do grace your partner with a verbal response then it's really not worth bothering thinking about what you are going to say before you say it. Just blurt out the first answer that arrives in your head - responses such as “aaaahhhhhh, leave me alone why don’t you” are fine and definitely won't be taken totally the wrong way by her.
3. Give her absolutely no reassurance whatsoever that you are okay.

So in summary…

• Always brush off most things she says, though "can I get a beer for you?" would obviously be one NOT to ignore, as not only is this a great offer, but it's also likely that such a question is an indirect request from her for sex.
• Only ever be honest and open with her when it’s the appropriate moment - ie "shall we invite my Mum and Dad over for dinner?" would be one to honest about, likewise - if you are running late for dinner then a "do these shoes go with these earing's?" type question, would be another to be really honest about.
• If you've had a really rubbish day at work, you just want 5 minutes on your own or if you’ve got a stomper headache then it's probably best to say nothing to your partner, she knows exactly what the matter is anyway because all women are brilliant at mind reading us chaps, so NOT giving her any sort of answer won't send her into a downward spiral at all and will only be seen by her as a very romantic gesture.

 

Keep as much stuff from her as you can
Definitely the best way to get loads more sex with your beloved is to keep as much of your life buttoned up inside your duffle coat as you possibly can. By keeping stuff from her it will of course make her feel really connected to you and will give her a really wondrous feeling of closeness to you. In fact why not just totally close down towards her, don’t say much at all, maybe some one word answers here and there. That should do the trick.
 Okay, that's probably enough of the sarcasm for one day! Hopefully you get the gist.

I posted up an intro video to The Get More Sex, Get Better Sex Course last week, so if you want some pointers in the right direction, rather what is definetly the wrong way to be going about getting more (ie following the advice above!), then start your journey at this video.

Jeremy

Revamping the website - getting more oral sex

We're doing a total revamp of the Get More Sex, Get Better Sex website at the moment, adding articles which will be of help to men in long term relationships to get more and better sex. We thought we'd do a quick preview of a few of the articles on our blog first, for which we most definetly invite comments...

This article is called: "How to get more and better oral sex for yourself"
So you want more and better oral sex for yourself? Fair enough, who wouldn’t?! In that case let’s start with some stuff that you ought to be avoiding if you want more …

• Firstly, and really quite obviously, don’t go shoving your partners head down towards your cock as a ‘subtle’ way of telling her to get busy! Oddly enough this really won’t work, and if it does its not going to earn you any brownie points and you really ought to be taking a good, hard look at yourself please.
• Secondly - keep yourself clean, just as you'd expect your partner to be clean for you if she was expecting you to be giving her oral sex.
• Third - if she's expecting you to kiss her afterwards and you refuse then you are potentially making her feel dirty for going down on you. If you are that worried about the taste of your own cock then do try to spare a thought for your partner on the end of it. And once you’ve done that go get back in the shower and don't forget to take the soap with you.
• When you do get some don’t shove your partners head back and forth whilst gripping onto her hair or ears, just let her go at her own pace. But hopefully I didn’t need to tell you that.

And now for some do’s…

• You’ll more than likely need to have clocked up some favours that you can then cash in for some blowjob action. Obviously the transactions not going to be that simple, but hopefully you get the drift. What I'm talking about here is that you should be doing all of the good things that "The Get More Sex, Get Better Sex Course" suggests that you should be doing, and you shouldn’t be doing all of the things that it suggests you shouldn’t. There's a summary of the course that will point you in the right direction of the do's and don't here, as well as on our You Tube channel [this will be live late week commencing the 4th June]. Oh yes and you'd be wise to be pleasing your partner sexually as well.
• Do give your partner feedback when you get some, make some noise man! Show her that what she is doing is working for you, that she is satisfying you. This is essentially all that’s in it for her, so give her some of what she’ll want from putting in all of that hard work for your benefit. Keep her inspired to keep up the good work.
• If you want some oral sex then let it be known that it’s very likely that she’ll expect some back from you as well. So don’t be afraid to deliver on that front, because if you are expecting some from her, and you’re not giving back to her in return, then you are pretty unlikely to be going to get some anytime soon. "The Get More Sex, Get Better Sex Course" includes an entire appendix on becoming an oral sex god, and it's what I call "Blokerized" - it makes quite a tricky thing to do well nice and straightforward (though it will require you to put some effort in!).
• You will at the very least need to get her going first (that’s get her going in the foreplay sense though), then once she’s turned on and in a good place she’ll be way more likely to want to give you some. Having said that its worth knowing that if she’s reached the point of climax then you are pretty unlikely to be getting some immediately afterwards!
• It’s going to be a sensible thing to do to discuss boundaries with your partner outside of the bedroom first, ie your partner might not actually be willing to give you oral sex. Knowing that she is, or isn’t first, would prevent you from asking her to do something that she really wasn’t at all keen to do, for example. If you aren’t keen to ask directly then a great way to do this is to take a ‘quiz’ together. It's a great way to explore what you both want and like and what the limits are slowly and gently in a non-pressured environment. There's a quiz in the "Talking about sex with your partner" appendix in the main course.
• You may find that talking with your partner about what you’d like to try when you are outside of the bedroom works better because of the lack of immediate pressure to then immediately try the thing out. Talking about sex with your partner outside of the bedroom also has the added benefit of getting her excited enough to want to go into the bedroom!

How to ask for it...

• Assuming things are in a good place with you both; you’re both butt naked in the heat of the moment, you've turned her on and possibly gone down on her - then bear the following in mind when making your request…
• Firstly – don’t be afraid to ask, there's nothing to be ashamed of – just as long as you don’t make her feel that your entire happiness is dependent on her going down on you!
• Submit your request to her with grace, and do it gently and lightly - but also with confidence, for example you could say “I’d like us to be more adventurous in bed and I love it when you go down on me and I wondered if we could try adding some oral sex into our lovemaking” or “the sex that we have is wonderful, I love it, especially the connection that it brings between us, but I wonder if we could make it even better?”, then “I'm just wondering whether we could try adding some oral sex".
• If there’s hesitation then let your partner know that it is of course perfectly okay to have a think about it for a while and to let you know when she's ready - don’t put pressure on her.
• And if all of that has gone really well and she seems receptive then suggest to her that you'd like her to go down on you when you are both at the height of passion “I'd love it if you'd go down on me”, “I've been thinking about it and I know it would drive me really crazy”, then if she still seems okay with it take the lead, help her out, get yourself into a position where she can easily and comfortably perform oral sex on you.

What to do if she’s not doing it right?

• Just be direct, tell her (in a nice way) what you like her doing when she’s going down on you.
• Either during her giving you a blowjob or afterwards you could say stuff like, “I love it when you…” (then adding what it is that you like!) or “…feels so good” to point her in the right direction.
• Praise the good stuff, ignore the not so good - if she’s pleasuring you and you're loving it then let her know that you're loving the technique she's using, either with the noises you make or the words you use to praise. If she's doing something that isn’t really working for you then don't make those same noises. That way she will be more inclined to keep doing the good stuff that you do like.

And what if none of this works?

• Have you really, really tried? Be honest with yourself. Check your cleanliness. Are you going down on your partner enough? How is your relationship generally? If she's holding anger or resentment towards you the last thing she'll consider doing is going down on you.
• And if you’ve exhausted all of those then you’ve just got to talk with your partner about your oral sex needs, but do so when you are outside of the bedroom, not when you are in bed in the heat of passion. In The Get More Sex, Get Better Sex Course there is an entire appendix on talking about sex with your partner that may well be of use in this situation. Do just make sure that you’ve put in the effort to have a good, non-accusatory, conversation with your partner about it, ie one that won’t make things worse.Going live on The Get More Sex, Get Better Sex website in a few weeks...

 

Thanks for reading - and please do comment if you'd like to feed back on this post, your thoughts are always appreciated.

What's it all about?

Okay blog post 1, let's set some ground rules, what's it all about?

Well first off - I'm the author of a course titled "Get More Sex, Get Better Sex" - so what I don’t want this to be is a cut and paste exercise from the course just to promote it.

What I am always trying to do is to add to and enhance my course in order to make it better for my customers, and I do this by…

·         Always learning.

·         Seeking out and reading in detail the posts on blogs and the forums that men and women participate in to get help with their issues.

·         Constantly reading 'stuff' to seek new insights of knowledge.

·         Seeking out better ways to put the learning across to make it easier for men to "get" what they have to do to get more.

…so, with that in mind what I'd prefer this blog to be is a great resource for men so that they can...

(a) Benefit from this learning before it gets into the course and…
(b) So that I can get feedback on what I'm thinking about putting into the course, ie what works and what doesn’t work to get readers more of what they want.

Let's finish off this post with a roundup of who this blog is aimed at...

·         Men, that’s pretty important really - it's all about helping men understand how they can get more sex.

·         Especially those men in long term, committed, relationships with women.

·         Women - if you are happy to comment on the suggestions in these posts then this feedback is always gratefully received.

·         Men who, having got over that initial infatuation period where sex is incredibly regular and easy to get, now find themselves, perhaps many years (or children) later, in the position of wondering "how can I get sex?", "how do I get laid", "how do I get my wife to have more sex with me?" or who simply wonder how to get more sex?

·         Those men who "get" the whole health and safety thing, ie it assumes that it doesn’t need to repeat the health and safety briefing here, it assumes that you are in a trusting and committed relationship and that you are not off sleeping around with lots of other partners, it assumes that your partner is not off doing the same too, it assumes that you've both discussed and agreed the method of birth control that you use and that you are both sticking with what you’ve agreed, and finally - it assumes that you have had the conversation and taken the necessary precautions about any potentially sexually transmitted infections that one or both of you might have and that you are both grown up and mature enough to understand the risks with sex.