Posting an article that the folks at Wikihow considered inappropriate for it's viewers.... thought it may benefit my readers though. Its a really high level summary of the process of getting more sex with your partner....
Increasing your partner's sex drive is relatively easy when you know how. However…. It’s going to take a little bit of hard work on your part, and it’s well worth knowing that the way a woman gets turned on is very different to the way that men get turned on. The process in this article will give you some basic starting pointers in the right direction.
1. First off then – The Ground Rules - Stop doing stupid stuff that’s going to be totally quashing your partners sex drive and putting her off of sex with you. For example; quit pestering her for sex all the time, quit with any anger you may have towards her, stop arguing with your partner, don’t put her down, give her some respect, quit trying to control her, stop using the really rubbish seduction technique of “are you in the mood?” and quit reminding her that you aren’t getting as much sex as you’d like.
2. Lay down good foundations – having stopped doing stupid stuff – start doing good positive things for your relationship. Once you start the positive relationship stuff then you’ve started the process of laying down good foundations for increasing your partners sex drive. What sort of good positive stuff can you do? Well, try; connecting to your partner more, spend time with her, listen (properly) to her when she’s talking with you, remember that women don’t have to have a purpose for a conversation, make your partner feel important, get (really) good at kissing your partner, be positive about her body, value your partners time and help out around the house more, show her some compassion, answer the question when she asks you stuff and get more touchy feely with your partner – all the time, not just when you want to increase her sex drive.
3. Getting you out of the ‘dull sex’ rut – your partner will more than likely have a higher sex drive if you perform well in bed! No pressure chaps! It’s well worth bearing in mind that your partner may not be overly enthused about leaping into bed with you for the same, dull old sex. So go do some homework on how you can become better in bed. There are loads and loads of books out there on what to do, but for starters have a think on this one… if you are going through the same motions every single time you get into bed with your partner then stop it. Just quit being dull in bed - learn some new moves, and break your routine up with these new moves. For example - try changing the way that you initiate sex with your partner for once.
4. Increasing your partner’s sex drive is something that you need to keep topping up on a daily basis – it’s not something that you can magically switch on in the blink of an eye when you want it switched on. On a daily basis you need to be doing stuff that you may well struggle to see how it’s connected with increasing her sex drive; connecting with your partner, talking with her, getting all touchy feely with her, showing interest in her and in what she’s talking with you about, appreciating her, listening (properly) to her, switching off the TV and talking with her instead of watching that programme she can’t stand, telling her that you love her often and giving her affection every single day.
5. And when you’ve got good at doing all of the above stuff – then you’ll have laid down some really decent foundations. Before we move on to the next stages, were you’ll really start moving up the gears to increase her sex drive - it’s worth knowing that there are times when she’s unlikely to be interested, and you’ll really struggle to get her in to the right place. Her sex drive will be lower if any of the following are true; she’s got a whole load of stuff on her mind (we’ll come back to this in later steps), she’s tired, it’s really late in the day and she just wants to go to sleep, she’s really drunk, she’s just eaten a HUGE meal and she’s feeling really full and bloated, she’s not at all relaxed, she feels about as romantic as a mouldy chicken or you’re both going to get disturbed (ie by small children). If any of these are about right then it’s well worth doing what you can to remove them as potential barriers.
6. If you can get good at spotting, or creating, opportunities for when her sex drive is likely to be higher then you’ll have a way better chance of success. Having a weekly date night with your partner, for example, is a great time to be trying to increase your partners sex drive. Having a dedicated night a week where you commit to spending decent, quality time with your partner where you get the opportunity to relax and romance her, will boost the chance of her sex drive skyrocketing. Likewise – watching films with erotic content (I’m talking the Hollywood type here, not your average male oriented porn flick) will do a grand job in fast tracking her sex drive in the right direction. And of course taking your partner away for the weekend to a nice hotel where you both get the opportunity to spend decent, relaxed time together, will work wonders for increasing her desire / drive for sex with you.
7. So how do you take her sex drive to the final level? The level where she’ll be absolutely gagging to get your clothes off? First off – connect with her; make her feel valued and special, listen well to her, spend time with her, catch up, appreciate her – for what she does for you, for your family and for your home, flirt with her, compliment and flatter her and maintain eye contact.
8. Once you’ve connected with her get going with some serious romancing and relaxing of your partner – run her a bath, pour her a glass of wine, make her laugh, make sure that you’ve done all that you can to free her mind of all of the stuff that’s floating round in it, put on some nice relaxing music, candles are your friend – dim the electric lights and go light the gentle flickery kind, make sure that she’s warm – if she’s cold this will only kill her sex drive stone dead, be a gentleman – treat your partner like a lady.
9. And once she’s relaxed and romanced - undertake a little foreplay on her mind… start by banishing your normal dull, everyday conversations about “who’s taking Gemima to ballet on Saturday”, or “what colour you are going to paint the hallway” and instead have some seriously romantic conversations – reminisce about the first time you met, the first time you kissed, your first holiday together. Just build it up slow and be subtle, don’t launch right in and make it obvious that you are trying to steer the conversation round that way. Be charismatic, be funny – make her laugh, introduce a little bit of touchy feely flirting, flirt confidently, go for a little sexual innuendo.
10. And finally when you’ve got all the right signals from foreplaying her mind you can undertake a little foreplay on her bod to take her sex drive to the final level; start by getting touchy feely with your fingers and lips on her erogenous zones, play with her hair, hold her hand, play footsie with her, turn up the dial on your conversations or give her a massage.