"10 Ways To Improve Yourself For The Benefit Of Your Sex Life
Before we begin though let’s take a quick look at why you’d want to improve. If you are the sort of chap who has somewhat given up on personal grooming then it’s worth knowing that you are sending unconscious signals to your partner that you are giving up on a number of things in your relationship – the main one of which is that you are stopping trying to look good to impress her. When you first get together with her it’s very likely that you paid a lot of attention to ensuring that you looked good for your new partner - so why wouldn’t you want to keep doing this? Especially if it helped to get you more sex. So with that in mind let’s get on with your first suggestion...
Self-improvement tip No. 1 - Have a wash
The first load of self-improvement tips are all going to be around sorting your personal grooming. This simply has to be up to scratch if you want to get more. Ensuring good hygiene levels at all times around your partner is a must do, you’ve got no choice. Please take a good look at your personal cleanliness - because poor hygiene is going to be a sure fire turn off for your partner. If you don’t do so already – then start washing regularly, and wash well when you do. If you don’t then your body odour is going to completely turn your partner off of you. Take a good look at your deodorant, if you haven’t got a decent one, and it doesn’t work then you are going to be Mr. Stinky when you get home and see your partner at the end of the day.
Self-improvement tip No. 2 – Breath, yours
Halitosis is going to totally scupper your chances of scoring more regularly with your partner. Start this process off by at the very least ensuring that you do your teeth twice a day - bits of broccoli floating between your teeth (for example!) when you are trying to seduce your partner isn’t going to help matters. Once you’ve got this under your belt, not that this was overly tricky!, then go and regularly buy yourself a decent mouthwash, oh yes, and remembering to use it is a good thing too. And as a final suggestion for this tip – purchasing yourself an electric toothbrush not only helps your teeth and is (hopefully) unlikely to break the bank, but might also make your partner think that you are starting to look after yourself as well – positive benefits all round.
Self-improvement tip No. 3 – Garlic salami sausage mouth
If your halitosis isn’t going away, then firstly take a look at what you are eating please. If only one of you is eating garlic or heavily spiced foods on a lunchtime then choose the breath friendly alternative, or make sure that you both eat something garlicky or spicy on a night time to even you both out, or share a mouthful of your food with your partner if she’s eating with you. If you don’t, Mr. Stinky Chops, she is going to be somewhat put off of you. And, if, despite having brushed your teeth regularly, flossed, mouthwashed and stopped eating garlic, you’ve still got halitosis issues then start by going to see your dentist for a bit of confidential help. There is always something that you can do to improve things in this department.
Self-improvement tip No. 4 - Ditch the scratchy face
Being Mr. Scratchy will only irritate your partner when you get the opportunity to get close to her to have a good snog. If you absolutely must have the stubbly look on the go, or if your beard is essential to your life then go give it a good soften. Why? Because a scratchy face will only put your partner off of kissing you, and kissing is a very important way to get your partner going. Hair moisturiser for beards please, and good old fashioned facial moisturiser, applied daily, if you absolutely must be Mr. Stubbly.
Self-improvement tip No. 5 – Good smells
Try appealing to your partner's sense of smell; wear a nice cologne. It’s not tricky, all you’ve got to do is go down your local posh department store (preferably with a wod of cash in your back pocket, because I’ll admit this isn’t an overly cheap tip to implement) and chat with the nice ladies on lots of different counters. They’ll be more than happy to give you a squirt of whatever pong it is that they’re trying to push. Better still though - go shopping with your beloved…
a) She’ll more than likely blooming love going shopping with you (please try and pretend you actually want to be there though, ie if she drags you into the shoe shop then don't moan and whinge).
b) She’ll be way impressed that you are starting to take care of yourself that much that you are actually spending some readies on your personal grooming and most importantly of all...
c) She can help you to choose a fragrance that she likes on you, then you haven’t wasted a load of money on something that she totally and utterly can’t stand the smell of.
Self-improvement tip No. 6 - Get some exercise
Aren’t exercising at all? Or just doing a little bit? Then get exercising or get going with some more. Why? Because it’s good for your head and your bod, and your partner will more than likely be impressed, that’s why.
Better still exercise with your partner...
- Exercise increases the libido and this is only a good thing for getting you more of what you want post exercise...
- Perhaps join a gym together and make a commitment to eat more healthily together at the same time. It’ll be tough to begin with, but having got into the regular swing of exercise and healthy eating it will doubtless do wonders for your sex life.
- You'll both feel better about yourselves when you exercise, especially if one or both of you are concerned about your weight or body image. Your partner will also think better of you if she thinks that you are taking her concerns into consideration.
- Struggling to find the time to exercise or haven’t got the cash to join a gym? Then go for a walk together on an evening after work, you can even do this with the kids if you have any. Why? Because it’s a great way to connect you both. Nature can be a really great mood enhancer; it gives you a chance to unwind, to escape from your home and to catch up with each other.
- If you live in a city then go escape to the countryside on a weekend for a walk, and smell the fresh air, unwind from the hustle and bustle of the city centre.
- If her weight is bothering you then suggesting that you both exercise together is brilliant – because you are helping to support her lose weight (assuming of course that she’s trying to).
- And don’t ever give in to the possibility of ‘middle age spread’ hitting you. Just tell it “NO”, go work hard to do something about it.
One way to get or stay seriously attractive to your partner is to be a self-assured man, who is: secure in his identity; and his place in the world; and who treats his partner in the right way. It can only help your partner to be turned on by you if you are confident and self-assured. So how do you go about this then?
- You cannot be a confident partner / husband if you are not a confident man. If confidence isn’t something that comes naturally to you, then just fake it until you make it. Become more assertive at work and at home; straighten your posture up, get working on achieving that promotion at work, follow all of these grooming tips, make that tiny investment in more self-help literature or attend some seminars on building confidence.
- This is going to sound barking mad, but start telling yourself how great you are at least 10 times a day. If you accomplish a challenging task at work, or do some great DIY at home then give yourself some damned praise. Say it quietly to yourself in your head, or shout it out loud! You don’t have to do it where people can hear you, just let yourself know that you’ve done good.
- Look in the mirror every day and find stuff about yourself that you like. It could be anything, even if you just tell yourself that you’ve got nice eyes! Then when you are feeling a little on the insecure side tell yourself the good stuff.
- Follow the "Esquire" tips from The Get More Sex Get Better Sex Course – start by going through your cupboards and drawers and be brave…. get rid of any clothing that makes you feel fat or unattractive when you put it on. Keep only the stuff that makes you feel good about yourself when you wear it.
- Be confident with your body, if you aren’t then your partner will pick up on this and this will be a turn off for her. Even if you aren't confident about it just do the "fake it" thing again – pretend. Eventually you will even believe yourself. You could also follow the exercise tips from no.6 earlier, the more you do the more you’ll stop having to fake. Love, like and approve of your own body and your partner will do the same back to you!
- Don’t be a low status male – ensure that your partner can be proud of you when you are both out and about… if you are at a function with your partner then you need to show her that you can hold your own and that you aren’t some sort of social leper. So go be social – don’t show off though, don’t moan about having to go in the first place, quit putting people down, watch your language and the laddiness when you are speaking with others, don’t be a shy old hermit who prefers his dingy cave to the humdrum of a party, and quit constantly tugging at your partners sleeve as soon as you get there whispering “can we go home yet?”. Instead - show her that you can be the life and soul of the party. Impress her at the party or function and that may come back to you in a good way when you do finally return home.
- However… exude confidence, yes, but don’t be an egotistical maniac with it, have some humility and be modest at all times, not just when you are with your partner.
Look into your partners eyes more often, like you did when you first started going out. Don’t do it the way the local village lunatic would do – ie with a crazed look in your eyes that has “stalker” written all over it! Instead look lovingly into your partners eyes when you are sat across from her at the dinner table, or simply when you are sat talking and snuggling with her, remember that this tip is part of the requirements of being a good listener. When you are sat down with your partner having a drink, connecting, at dinner - clink your glasses together and propose a toast, say something intimate when you are clinking your glasses - use it as an opportunity to get across a nice, loving connection between you both, hold your gaze for longer than your partner might expect you to, start to build up that intimacy.
Self-improvement tip No. 9 - Nails, the ones on your fingers, not the long, sharp metal type.
If you’ve got dirty nails then go back to that health and beauty store that’s hopefully now getting used to your custom and part with a few more pennies to get a scrubbing brush. Then get back home, find the soap and use brush and soap on your fingernails! Scrub the 20+ years worth out of dirt from them. Grubby hands will not be attractive to your partner. And whilst we are on the subject of hands please bear with me whilst I request that you step out of your comfort zone again because I’d like to tell you please the following rules around your nails:
- Keep your fingernails cut short
- Keep them smooth
- And stop biting them!
Self-improvement tip No. 10 – Make sure that your partner values youOn day 6 of The Get More Sex, Get Better Sex Course, we look at how important it is for you getting more of what you want to show your partner that you value her. Well, this tip uses that same word – ‘value’ - your partner needs to value you as her partner. Do I need to put that another way perhaps? How much does your partner value having you around? The theory goes that the more your partner values you outside of the bedroom the more your sexual value increases inside the bedroom. So how do you know how much your partner values you? I’d advise against actually asking her this sort of question, and instead to do the job yourself – sit down with a bit of paper, be honest with yourself and start the process off by making a list of things that would ensure that your partner respected you more. Then, make a list of things that you can do to make your partner value you more. Then it’s simple really – just go do them.
Week 2 of The Get More Sex, Get Better Sex Course includes an additional 10 suggestions for your self-improvement, including; "Become an old romantic", "Become a flirt" and "Be Self-Assured"."